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When you have been away from home for a while – and your stash of items for Trader Joe’s has run out – you begin to get hankerings for things like gouda and roast turkey.  Much like the tuna melt debacle, I just wanted a deli sandwich with all the fixings.

So I am in the market doing a quick shop (a store I hadn’t really fully explored until this visit) and I notice a deli counter in the back…only hours after calming my craving for a deli sandwich with a cheese sandwich.  I call D and ask him and tell him – low and behold – that there was salami, imported from Italy!! As excited as I am, I proceed to order 10 slices for which we pay about $15 but @#$$ we have deli fixins and aren’t going to pass this up!!

This is a good time to remind folks that D cannot smell.  Needless to say, the salami (or potentially the slicer they used) had a few bugs and D (I was not hungry after snacking) proceed to spend a large number of hours moving to and from the couch to bathroom.  Not a good 24 hrs in India.

The next morning, incensed, I head back to the supermarket to return the salami.  I explain to the clerk that my husband had one slice and spent the entire evening and was currently, in the bathroom and was very sick…Have you ever had one of those moments when you can float above yourself and see the entire scene – knowing you are looking like a complete fool, but not caring?  

Anyway, the gal at the counter could not understand why I was there….”but Madam, the salami is good until Nov. 2009”.  To which I replied, “Not after you cut it!!”  This was followed by “I can’t give you money but my manager will be here at 4 (It was 10 in the morning).  To which I replied, “I’m here now”. This repartee went on for about 10 mins.  Feed up, I suggested calling her manager and explaining the situation.  

At this point a security guard came over (it is not unusual here as security guards are in every store and seem to serve the primary purpose of ensuring you did not put anything extra in your bags between the check stand and the 3 feet to the door) however, this gentleman had been listening to the exchange between the deli clerk and myself.  Much to the girls chagrin, after a semi-heated conversation in Kanada, the clerk relented and went to weigh the salami to give me a refund.  The next sentence out of her mouth, floored me!

Her:  “Madam, there is some missing”  

Me:  ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!    NO @#$&!  (that last bit stayed in my head)  Yes, remember, my husband ate a slice and has been sick since????!!!  

The clerk proceeded to give me a full refund, to my thinking more to get rid of me than actually caring what happened.

Lesson learned:  No deli meat for us!