Darren went to the store on the way home from work yesterday and picked up some canned tuna, onions, bread, tomatoes, "pizza cheese" – think white velvetta – and some "mayolite". We were missing a few very important ingredients – mustard for one, pickles and celery. Darren said he would have bought some colemans mustard but it was 600 rupees (about $16) and didn't think it was worth it – I agreed.
So this afternoon, I went down to the reception desk at the hotel with my can of tuna (and a request for mustard). I was totally psyched to make the best tuna melt I could given what I was working with. On my way downstairs, I gave up on the pickle relish and celery. Pickle here is a totally different concoction and since I haven't seen celery in any of the 10 supermarkets I have been to, I decided against trying to ask or explain what I needed – too much. For some reason though, I thought I could explain a tuna melt – stupid girl.
When I showed the clerk the can, explaining I was making tuna melts and needed a can opener, he looked very perplexed – my guess was at that point he could not understand how or why I would want to mix a cooked fish with raw onions and something called "mayolite" and then heat it with cheese and tomato on toast. (Frankly I could understand that perspective when I was later mixing it up)
Regardless of what he thought about what I was so eager to consume – he in super customer service fashion was going to help me open the cans. Needless to say, when a very large kitchen knife appeared moments later, the clerk started to attempt to pry off the lid with the knife!!! Fortunately, one the managers came out, took the can away from the clerk and sent it with another clerk to the kitchen to be opened.
It came back out about 10 minutes later – the lid partially off (still looking like it might have been opened with a knife) and the can was sitting on a napkin draped plate. The mustard appeared in the form of whole seed and then after pulling up a picture of colemans mustard on the front desk's computer and explaining I was wanting a paste, the mustard subsequently appeared ground in a bowl – to which I was told to add water. This actually worked out as I just added the ground seeds to the "mayolite".
After all this, I am sorry I didn't take a picture of the sandwich – which turned out good and worked in a pinch – you damn well know though that I am coming back with pickles and mustard. On that topic, our fridge is looking kinda low but the staples are there – and yes, that is Mac and Cheese in the lower left corner:
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